Earlier today Tony Blair and David Cameron crossed swords during Prime Minister's Questions. Here is a digest of their exchanges.
Cameron: ‘I’ve got a lovely lime green tie on. I’m young and gorgeous, unlike you. And, by the way, a lot of poor people are being asked to give back money to the Treasury because a certain person in your government is useless. I love poor people, d’ya hear?’
Blair: ‘I love poor people more than you do. I’ve got a list to prove it.’
Cameron: ‘It’s all Gordon’s fault but you’re too scared to say so. Why won’t you boot him up the arse?’
Blair: ‘I’m going to read out some more statistics. It’s a good way of avoiding the question.’
Cameron: ‘Gordon is rubbish and I’ll mention him again because he’ll be doing your job soon.’
Blair: ‘It was worse for poor people when you lot were last in power. I know that was years ago. But I'll mention it anyway because since you've been going on about how much you love poor people you have risen in the polls. So I'll say anything I can think of to make it look like I love them more than you.’
Cameron: ‘The ladies fancy me, you know. Anyway, when are you going to get tough about knives?’
Blair: ‘I’m already getting tough! The problem is you can’t bang people up for simply for carrying a knife because they might have a good reason for it, such as being terrified of getting stabbed. But I daren’t mention stuff like that because it won’t look tough. Instead, I have to say things that sound tough even though they’re mostly just soft options and hot air and probably won’t make much difference. See, I’ve got a list of them here.'
Cameron: ‘You said ages ago that you’d get tough on knives. I saw you do it on the telly.’
Blair: ‘I’m certainly thinking jolly hard about how to look tough in the ways that you suggest. I daren’t say anything more sensible about this subject in case someone calls me a poof - even though my tie is much more butch than yours.’
PMQs END HERE