Apparently, the Third World War has broken out. But never mind all that...
Cameron: “Your idea for mortgage information packs has fallen to bits, hasn’t it?”
Blair: “The money-lenders have shafted me. God, it's embarrassing. Just as well I am incapable of error.”
Cameron: “The whole thing is a shambles. Why are your lot so crap?”
Blair: “It’s not a complete shambles. What more do you want?”
Cameron: “Gordon put up stamp duty, which didn’t help home buyers either. See how cleverly I’ve dragged your successor into this?”
Blair: “We’ve kept interest rates down, which is more than your lot did.”
Cameron: “Here’s another thing you said you'd do and haven’t: being nastier to people who attack public servants. We Tories love public servants, suddenly. Isn’t my re-branding project going well?”
Blair: “Not fair! You voted against tougher penalties!”
Cameron: “There’s a dazzling internal logic to my PMQs strategy today: first I say you’re useless; then I say Gordon’s useless too; and now to round things off, I declare that you are quietly dumping a whole bunch of useless policies and, what’s more, that thick prole Prezza will be in charge while you’re on holiday!”
Blair: “Don’t you talk to me about policies! You’ve only got three and they’re a joke!”
Cameron: “You don’t like answering awkward questions; bit like your dodgy pal Lord Levy!”
Blair: “You lot were terrible when you were last in power. I hope enough people are still alive who can remember that. Otherwise, I’m screwed. And Gordon is too, which come to think of it...”
Third World War denial PMQs ends here.