Temperama: Daily Mailness Gone Mad

October 18, 2006

Daily Mailness Gone Mad

Here's a nice example of a story that barely was and now isn't but whose few and dubious facts the Daily Sharia simply had to impart its fundamentalist spin to anyway.

GINGERBREAD MAN GETS CHOP FROM P.C. BRIGADE

"The culture of banning in the name of political correctness has affected most institutions - and now it appears the bakery trade has fallen foul of the killjoys."

Oh dear. This is an unsigned news report, not an editorial or opinion piece. It should not, therefore, begin with an assertion, especially one as crude as this. Can the nameless author prove that "banning" in the name of "political correctness" has affected "most institutions"? If so, where is the evidence? And is the term "killjoys" perhaps just a teeny bit partisan?

"The gingerbread man biscuit has been stripped of his sexuality in the West Midlands and must instead be called a gingerbread person."

Point of order. When did you last see a penis on a gingerbread person? A typical example is pictured here and wears nothing but buttons, cuffs, ankle socks and a bowtie. Were it male, the physical signs would surely be visible. This must, at the very least, call the sex of the entity into question. Moreover, being rendered ambisexual is not the same thing as being "stripped of your sexuality" any more than is a change of sex. Sexual desire is not ended by any form of gender reassignment in humans. Why assume the same fails to hold for gingerbread men? Eh?

"Parents and children who asked for the sweet treat were outraged to be told at branches of the Bakers Oven that the gingerbread man no longer existed."

Which parents, which children, which branches? Who, what, when and where? The four basic questions of journalism badly answered or not answered at all. Shoddy workpersonship, wouldn't you say?

"Instead they could only buy a gingerbread person. The decision, which most see as political correctness gone mad, was made by a regional area manager."

Who are "most"? Most goats? Most fish? Most gingerbread persons? Bit thin this story so far, don't you think?

"But one angry store manager said: 'It's just a step too far. We have schoolchildren coming in who have asked for a gingerbread man for years. Now I have to tell them that they can't have a gingerbread man and they can only have a ginger person. It is just silly really, as the gingerbread man has been around for years. You can't discriminate against a biscuit."

This is just plain wrong. You can discriminate against a biscuit. I discriminate against Custard Creams all the time. I've never liked them and it's my right in a free country not to eat them. I'm sure the Sharia and I are at one on this matter, if on no other.

"A worker at the Birmingham branch told the Daily Express: 'I was shocked when I was told about it but you can't argue with orders.'"

How unusual. Not only has the source for the (unnamed) worker's quote been attributed to its source but that source is the Sharia's traditional rival the Express. Might this uncharacteristic honesty at Sharia HQ betray subliminal doubts about the validity of this story? If so, they seem more than justified.

"The Bakers Oven chain says the change was made by a former regional manager, without the approval of head office. Spokes'person' (not man)..."

Geddit!?!?!?!?

"...Peter Woodall said: 'We've only just become aware of this problem and we're changing the name back as soon as possible'. He added: 'The gingerbread man has been around for 200 years and of course children should continue to ask for gingerbread man in our shops.'"

So in fact the Gingerbread Man has not "had the chop" from "the PC Brigade," at all and the entire basis for the story is bogus. Not that such considerations are ever likely to deter the ideological crusading of the fearless Daily Sharia.

October 18, 2006 at 09:25 AM in Sex & Sexes | Permalink