Returning from his summer holiday, the Mayor has a bad luggage day at Gatwick:
"The only representative of authority was a nice but increasingly rattled young man from the lost luggage department. Shielded behind his attack-proof glass, he told a growing crowd of passengers what he knew. He knew nothing. Why had some bags arrived from Dalaman, and not the others? He didn’t know. Where were the bags from Cagliari? He didn’t know. All he knew was that our bags were out there somewhere in the dark on the rain-lashed tarmac. We offered to mount a Entebbe-style raid to liberate our luggage, and were told we couldn’t do that for health and safety reasons."
Not being funny or anything, but I'd love to hear the lost luggage lad's version of these events. Now read on.