Did Nessie and Norton dare to Ride With The Mad Dogs? Would the Mad Dogs help them on their Christmas Quest to find a mermaid, a talking vegetable and something to stop their little sister Thalia going “Thud”? Would the Mad Dogs help them to discover the True Meaning of Christmas, which was the other thing their mum and dad suggested they look for? Well...Norton took his Maths Hat off, looked at Nessie for five seconds then put the hat back on again. This was to show her that he didn’t quite know what to say. You see, Norton really DID want to Ride With The Mad Dogs because now that he’d learned how to speak to them in barks, he wanted to do it some more. However, he thought that Nessie probably DIDN’T want to Ride With The Mad Dogs, and he didn’t want her to say that she DID want to ride with them just to make him happy. This was because Norton was, in his different way, an understanding child just as Nessie was. But was Norton right about what Nessie wanted?
Well, he mostly was. About three quarters of Nessie did not want to Ride With The Mad Dogs but the remaining quarter of her did. Now, Readers Who’ve Done Fractions might be wondering which bits of Nessie we are talking about here. Which bits added up to the three quarters of her that thought to Ride With The Mad Dogs would be extremely unwise and which bits made up the quarter that was quite keen on the idea?
Such readers might be scratching their chins and thinking that maybe both her arms and one of her legs had figured it would be better to say “No” while her other leg was altogether more reckless and brave. But any Readers Who’ve Done Fractions having thoughts of this kind should stop thinking them immediately. That is because the three quarters of Nessie that did not want to Ride With The Mad Dogs and the one quarter that did were both inside of Nessie’s mind! Other bits of Nessie simply did not come into it! I mean: do knees have opinions? Do earlobes think? How many elbows ever wrestle with mixed emotions? Not many, probably.
And there was something else. Even though Norton hadn’t said he wanted to Ride With The Mad Dogs because he knew that most of Nessie didn’t, Nessie was just as good at knowing what Norton really wanted as Norton was at knowing what Nessie really wanted. This meant that Nessie knew that Norton wanted to Ride With The Mad Dogs but wouldn’t say so because he knew that most of Nessie didn’t! And because Nessie knew this, she had a lovely, fond feeling about her little brother. And this lovely, fond feeling made the one quarter of her that had wanted to Ride With The Mad Dogs at the beginning of this chapter grow bigger until it was slightly more than half of her. And this meant that the three quarters of her that hadn’t wanted to Ride With The Mad Dogs had shrunk to slightly less than a half. And here is a chance for Readers Who’ve Done Fractions to work out what Nessie said to Norton next. They have five seconds in which to do this
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Time’s up!
Nessie said to Norton, “I think we should Ride With The Mad Dogs.”
Norton took off his Maths Hat and replied, “So do I.” So Nessie put Plingo the toy flamingo back into her shoulder bag and took her purple sunglasses out of it and put them on. This helped to put her in a questing mood. She climbed on to the silver motor scooter behind the white Poodle in the red cat suit with fur trim wearing the Father Christmas hat. Norton put his Maths Hat back on and got into the go-kart behind the Bulldog who wore the bowler hat with mistletoe dangling over its brim. Then the Mad Dogs roared off towards the way out of Willow Close, leaving Excited Readers desperate to know what happened next.
Footnote: Apologies for those expecting to meet the fieldmice in Chapter Six. That's been put back until tomorrow - these things happen when you make stuff up as you go along...
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