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March 10, 2007



Hi Dave

I am sorry to hear your news. I cried when I read your blog as it reminded me of last summer when my dad hit the buffers at 71; and of the terrible dilemma of balancing your own life with caring for your parents.

I know it is an extremely tough time and my heart goes out to you and your parents. All the best

Ms Baroque

Dave, all the best, and yes - I think this is the story of the moment for msny of us. My sister's the one on the scene where my dad is - he's declining with emphysema and his partner is over 70 now as well. It's no comfort to be 3,000 miles away. My aunt, here, is 79, on her own and beginning to forget things. It just creeps up on you, doesn't it, and then you think: blimey, this is it. They're old. (Lord knows what's going to happen to us when we're old. The worst-case scenbario was always "ending up in a home," but it now looks like we'd be lucky!

I've been thinking about you and hoping everything was all right.


We finally had to bow to the inevitable and place my Dad in care just months ago. Honestly, with the issues of Parkinson’s and the dementia in general, for his case, the professional care is of higher quality than my step-mother was able to provide at home. Not to mention that she has her own health issues to try and manage. My generation has kids at home, work to attend to and all live at least a half day’s drive away. More and more people are feeling the crush between children who need to be raised and elders who need to be cared for. It’s hard.

Miss Hacksaw

Sorry to hear of the bad news Dave. Both my grandparents suffered from strokes and the effect can be both heartbreaking and frightening. Thinking of you and your family

Miss H x

Jane Henry

Hi again Dave, so sorry to hear your troubles with your mum. Does your dad get any help at all? Surely your mum's entitled to carers isn't she?

Sadly from what little I know about strokes they can make people change personality wise - they can often get lachrymose or grumpy, or in my father's case slightly euphoric.

I hope your mum can settle down with the medication, and that she and your dad can get the help they need.

But it's horrible to be so far away, as it makes it nigh on impossible to help in a practical sense.

Best of luck to you. I know what a tough call it is.


Lucy Diamond

So sorry to hear about this, Dave. We went through something similar with my father-in-law, also living a four-hour drive away, and it was horrible for everyone.
Take care.

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