The Telegraph reports:
"Making his first start since breaking his nose against Sheffield United a month ago and having an operation to set it last week, the gangling striker terrorised Arsenal with a display of all the attacking arts that was rewarded with a dazzling hat-trick."
"Gangling striker"? Don't you mean "Glorious Godhead"?
Who now doubts he is a giant among men?
Just in case we were forgetting who that is.
First, he dumps his dodgy girlfriend. Then he sticks it to boring old Chelsea. And now he does the double for McClaren. Behold, the Greatest Living Englishman!
How will they cope without him? We'll see...we'll see...
Hear us, Metatarsal, God of Toes! Hear our prayers....but if you don't we've still got my favourite England player. That's him with the ball (left).
